Making Peace with Pink and Princesses

Friday, 2 October 2015


The Peanut


We found out Emma was a girl, in my 24th week of pregnancy.

I admit, I was pumped.

I had always hoped for a girl.

I had two brothers. They were heinous.

(Sorry guys...you were!)

I was obviously fabulous, being a girl child. Thus, I wanted a girl. (#soundreasoning)

Once we found out we were having a girl..the next most obvious cause for concern was how we were gonna decorate her room. (Oh man, we were so naive! She spent the first 4 months in our room!)

I was absolutely against pink. Especially "baby pink", "Pepto pink" ...most kinds of pink except fuchsia (for some reason, hot pink was acceptable, as it was a "mature pink").

We painted her room a cream with lots of colourful accents (including green, blue, fuschia etc).

I made sure she didn't have ridiculous baby pink outfits. No "Mommy's princess" shirts. No "Daddy's princess" shirts.

I was going to have an equal opportunity, gender neutral child.  She was gonna have dolls aaannnd trains. She was gonna have cars aannnd My Little Pony.

Not only that! I was going to leave out the princess crap. No Sleeping Beauty. No Cinderella.

This girl was not going to face gender stereotypes and ridiculous female role models in this household!

No sir..

Then this funny thing happened.

One way or another..girls get exposed to princess stuff...pink stuff...stereotypical binary gender stuff.

And by golly....E. was like a freight train. She wanted the pink.  She wanted the princess stuff. She wanted everything and all of that.

It was like walking a thirsty horse by a trough.

I was powerless to stop it.

This was her choice.

She chose My Little Pony over Jake and the Never Land Pirates. She chose Dora and Friends over Thomas.

And never at any point did I say....Girls watch Dora. Boys watch Thomas.

This was a choice that she made on her own.

This was what made her happy.

And then I realized. If this was what she was interested in....so be it.

If she had gone the other way and wanted to be into ninja turtles and trains and all those other things....I would have supported her....so why was I struggling now to support this choice?

It didn't make sense! I had worked so hard to be gender neutral. Gender equal.

Then I realized the best thing I could do was to support her choices. Continue to provide the choices and go from there.

This year E. chose to be in ballet....and be in hockey.

Maybe at the end of the year, she will prefer one over the other.

It's my job as her parent to provide the choice and go with the choice that she makes.

(In addition, I try to make sure that I talk to her about why some of these old school stereotypical princess stories are not real life ("You know you don't have to get married if you don't want to" "You know when you find someone you love it is important that they are kind and honest") and talk to her about my own body confidence ("I love my brown eyes", "I like being tall".)

Because you know what? The most important female role model in E.'s life is not Cinderella. It's not Sleeping Beauty. It's not Dora. It's not Sofia the First.

IT'S ME!!!!!!!

K.





2 comments :

  1. What a beautiful post. Especially the last part. She is luckily to have such a fabulous momma

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  2. LOL This is EXACTLY the struggle that I have gone through with M and have just recently came to terms with. Great post.

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